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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Gardner

Why You Shouldn't Always Compliment Back: 2 Reasons I Just Accept Compliments

Updated: Sep 9, 2019

Do you ever find yourself greeting a compliment with another compliment back?

Whenever people would compliment me, I'd immediately find something to compliment back. It just honestly would make me feel so uncomfortable to get compliments and I just didn't know how to take a compliment.

But here's the reasons that it's not beneficial for either person to always compliment back:

1. Less genuine: When I would rapidly fire a compliment back at someone, it was rarely ever genuine in the moment. Sometimes I would think back and say "oh yeah, I really did like her skirt" but most of the time I would have the reaction more like Regina from the movie Mean Girls and think to myself "That's the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen in my life". Why did I compliment them then?

2. Take the attention off of me: It can be uncomfortable when the attention is all on yourself. When someone offers you a compliment, it is easier to throw the attention their way with another compliment rather than accept the compliment and relish in the moment of praise.

I've struggled for years with this.

My motto was that "I hate being the center of attention" so anytime I found myself in the center of attention, I would deflect to someone else as quickly as I could.

Even in basketball, as soon as I would get the ball, it was either pass or a hot potato. It was all because I felt like having the attention on me was self-centered and that I didn't have enough to offer so I didn't feel like I deserved all of the attention.

Now, I am not saying that you should never greet a compliment with another compliment.

But next time someone offers you a compliment, rather than passing the attention off of yourself, try inviting their praise into your presence and accepting it graciously then responding accordingly whether that's a simple "thank you" or offering that person a compliment.

Not all compliments have to be in my post about when to accept and when to respectfully decline a compliment.

Share your experience with receiving and giving compliments in the comments below.

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