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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Gardner

Having the Confidence to Say No: Why Boundaries Are Vital in Any Relationship

Changing my mindset about using the word "no" has been one of the best things that I have done for myself. When I learned how to create boundaries, I gained freedom and much stronger relationships.

In the past, it was so challenging for me to say "no" to people ...honestly sometimes I still find it kind of hard.

Like if I had to say no then I was letting someone down because deep down somewhere I felt like I had to be everything to everyone else...but that meant there was no time left for myself. And that's exactly what it felt like most of the time.

So I would end up over committing myself and made this impossible expectation that I would be able to handle it all.

It was so overwhelming and I became an extremely flaky person ...which I didn't like having that reputation. I would have to either bail on plans or cut time short with people but ultimately I would let someone down in the end.

So with all the best intentions, I had ended up causing the exact issue that I had set out to help stop in the first place.

I was stressed out, overstretched and I did not like the reputation that I was gaining.

That's when I realized that "no" is not a dirty word. It can actually be an extremely respectful and empowering word.

Of course, most of the time it's not going to be easy for either party. It can feel uncomfortable to say "no" when someone asks you something and for the receiver it can feel unsettling or disappointing...especially at first.

The truth is that if you are known as the "do-it-all" or "always yes" type of person then people aren't going to have an easy time transitioning into these newfound boundaries that you are setting into place.

But I am here to share as a previous "do-it-aller" that boundaries are life changing and people will get used to it.

If not then sometimes cutting ties can be necessary to keep yourself healthy.

How has setting boundaries been helpful for your relationships? Share in the comments below.

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